Freedom and Fear
by babybel
Summary: Based on a showdown happening on a bill site.go to http:groups.
1. Just the beginning

This Fan fiction is based on a fan fiction showdown happening on The Big Bill Interactive. For more information on the showdown and how to take part go to http/groups. Characters:Gina and Smithy.

This story is about their friendship and the feelings they experience in the run up to christmas.

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Freedom and Fear

Fuck it's freezing! The wind was blowing into Smithy's crimson face; it was only November yet he could feel the full extent of winter. After waking up in his clothes that smelt of tobacco smoke Smithy's day did not get to a good start, and it was about to get worse. So far his day had consisted of the dreaded coffee round and talks about Christmas with Reg Hollis. By now Smithy could recite Reg's Christmas wish list backwards, forwards, sideways and to the tune of Jingle bell rock. However this mental Christmas torture was nothing compared to what was about to happen later in the course of the day, his past was about to come back with a vengeance.

Back at base Gina Gold was relaxing in the comfort of her own office, looking around you wouldn't have thought that Christmas was fast approaching. Lining the walls were plaques and photos of some of the most legendary boxers the earth had to offer. Her view was that Christmas was commercialised hype with a bit of sparkly tinsel thrown in. This year she felt no different to any other, another Christmas alone sitting watching the annual Vicar of Dibley Christmas special while consuming a bottle of brandy.

Knocking on Inspector Gold's door PC Bryant waited for a reply, greeted with a grunt she opened the door and stood in front of her superior's wooden desk.

"Ma'am you don't know where Sergeant Smith is, do you? Only his mums been admitted to St Hughes," She replied in a slightly anxious tone,

"Out on patrol with PC Hollis they should be back in a minute, what happened?" Gina replied without hesitating,

"Not sure she didn't really say to be honest, she looked in pain though and she was covered with great big dirty bruises,"

After Laura had left her office Gina's head slumped into her hands, after the year Smithy had had he really didn't need to be faced with more misery and grief. Apart from Smithy himself, Gina was the only person aware of his previous home life and it wasn't pretty. One night he sat there talking about the fights and arguments he would have with his dad over his behaviour, all he had tried to do was help his mum yet that was not how she saw it.

Half an hour later Smithy had now ended his shift, seeing him pass her office she quickly rushed out and summoned him in. Giving a grunt he seemed unimpressed with the idea of staying at work for a second later. By the look on Gina's face and her body language Smithy could sense that there was something important she had to say, understanding this he did exactly what he was asked and sat down on the royal blue chair.

"Smithy, its your mum…"

Before she had a chance to finish Smithy shot up in the air and protested,

"If its anything to do with her im not interested she walked out of my life the day she stayed with that monster"……..

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Thanks for reading please read and review. I will continue with Reborn soon. 


	2. The end?

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"Smithy wait..."But it was too late he had flown around the corner in a rage. Storming outside the station he looked around, what did he do should he visit her and get it over and done with or just put it to the back of his mind like he had done for the past five years? As much as she had hurt him she was still his mother, the same woman who loved and cherished him throughout his life. He decided he should go but only on the grounds of an explanation, why was she doing this to him?

The hospital was a tall building, at least 7 storeys; walking through the main doors he smelt the stench that filled his lungs every time her entered here. He hadn't stayed long enough to ask Gina where she was situated so he thought has best bet was to enquire at the main reception.

"I don't suppose ya could tell me where Lynne Smith is could ya'?" he asked in that bold accent,

Checking the database the ladies face seemed puzzled,

"Im afraid we don't have anyone under the name of Lynn Smith" she replied

"But ya' must ave"he said, even more confused than she was.

"Im sorry"

Accepting that there were no records Smithy turned his back and walked through the building, it was far too cold at the moment to go outside. His pace slowed and sharply turned to a halt when he was faced with a notice board. A grid had been drawn on it in those wipe able pens, they reminded Smithy of the ones in CID. But it was not the pens that caught his attention for it was the information in the grid. In each section was a persons name; he gathered it was a bed plan. To the far right of the board stated the name 'LYNN JACOBS' in a scruffy capitalised writing. If he was right then she was here, he peered through the glass panel in the door and his eyes focused in on a frail middle-aged woman. He couldn't believe his eyes; she looked terrible to see her in such a state conjured up a whirlwind of emotions inside him. Feeling the warm moisture rolling down his cheek, he wiped his pale complexion. It was too late, he was already here, and if it were not for the administration error he would have had seen her anyway. He opened the fireproof door and inhaled a large dose of air; his large feet pounded the floor as he walked over to the corner of the room. The woman was peering out of the window, although they were in the middle of London there was some pleasing beauty in the hospital gardens that lay outside of the window, even he could see that.

Giving two coughs he finally plucked up the courage to speak,

"Hi" although it was short it said everything he needed to say at that point in time.

Turning round quickly but at a pace that she felt little discomfort in she saw him, her handsome little boy,

"Dale!" It had such pleasurable emphasis and he knew that somehow she was pleased to see him.

Silence filled the air; they were both unsure of how to progress in conversation, knowing her son would find it hard to reply Lynn found that that the onuses was on her.

"Im sorry" Feeling the guilt she dissolved into a puddle of tears, it wasn't her fault.

"Sorry for what mum, sorry for the time when ya' lost contact with me or for the time when ya' just let him hit me?" it was said in such an agitated, raised voice that it seemed everyone in the ward heard.

"I know and I wish I could have done something but you don't understand how I felt. Imagine living in fear everyday; imagine thinking that everything you did was wrong. That's how I felt, whenever you and your sister went out, I was left in a house with him on my own, all that ran through my mind was what he was about to do to me. Would it be over quick, would I still be alive after?"

"Then why when I offered you a way out did ya' just ignore it and disown me when I tried to help?" He asked

"I know it maybe hard for you to understand Dale but part of me loved him, we had been married for 20 years and had kids together he wasn't always violent towards me"

"Had been married, as far as I'm aware you still are!" He stated sarcastically.

"I've had enough of being used as a constant punch bag enough is enough, well so I thought"

"Well yeah it is enough aint it I mean you wont be near him anymore will ya'"

"So I thought but its like only he can have me, he did this to me the day he received the divorce papers Dale" she could not take it anymore the truth was finally hitting her, could she ever be safe from him?

Delving into his pocket Smithy produced a crumpled up tissue, but that was not the only thing to fly out of his pocket, falling onto the bed was a photo of a blonde headed woman…

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Sorry about the shortness of the 1st chapter this ones a bit longer. Ill try and do long chapters but with a biology GCSE next week it might not be that soon. please r+r 


	3. Demons

Sorry About the shortness of this chapter as soon as I can I will update and make it longer, its short as i've had far to much homework and revision to do.

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They both stared at the photo for what seemed like an eternity and then Lynn looked up at her son, he had a certain expression on his face, it was filled with sadness.

"Who's that then Dale?" she asked, wiping her eyes

"She was called Kerry," he said, tears welling up in his green eyes.

"_Was_?" she replied unaware of what her son actually meant. There was another short silence until Smithy broke it.

"She got killed last year, this physco shot her in the chest, she died in my arms"

"Were you close to her?"

"Yeah she...she was my girlfriend until that piece of scum killed her, she was pregnant" hiding his head in his hands he froze for a while then composed himself.

"Anyway I'm not here to talk about me am I. Do ya still love him?" there was no reply so he pushed the issue further.

"Do ya mum, it's a simple answer you either do or ya don't" the anger was building up inside him; the more she hesitated the more angry he got.

"Don't do this to me Dale, you know how I feel"

Smithy looked at her, his expression burning straight through her very core, he couldn't take it how could she love him? She loved the very person that took out his anger on him, the nights when he got drunk he would persistently question his son's masculinity. 'C'mon Dale go on hit me or are ya' u puffta?' kept racing round in his head, just one of the endless taunts his dad called.

Inhaling that stuffy air which seemed to fill every hospital corridor he pivoted on his foot and slowly walked out of the ward staring at the cream lino.

Gina sat their clock watching, she hated the last half an hour of her shift, and it just seemed to crawl by. She was looking forward to a large glass of the finest whisky but thought it best to wait until she went down the local. Tapping the blue biro against an A3 sheet of paper, the phone went.

"Hello, Inspector Gold speaking" she said in a slightly disgruntled manor, a phone call normally meant more work.

During the course of the phone call her facial expression changed somewhat, towards the end all colour drained from her weary face.

She finished the phone call with an abrupt 'OK I'll be there'.

Breathing in she put her hand over her mouth and shut her eyes,

' I guess that whisky will have to wait a little while' she muttered to herself.

Slowing standing up she grabbed her black coat, slung it over her and walked out of the door.


End file.
